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Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Vivienne; the girl who will succeed

Summer nights are the times where I get completely no sleep. It's the time where I think things through, it's the time when I crave for everything I don't have. It's the time when I just fall to the bed and cry into my pillows missing my friends , because I know I'll never meet them again. It's when the times I ask why, how , when, and then ask why again and again in my head. Why do I have to feel so terrible at the same time?

I missed everyone in my old class St. Eugene, the people, the teachers, and most of all the moments we shared together. We cried together, we smiled together, we have been in every single way friendships will be. We've been together for at least 5 years, and we are bonded, toughened, and sharpened by time , we shared everything, every single smile was awarded, but we all know it's coming to an end.

    A year is enough for me to realize that time is short. Within a year, I made a friend from Thea, the person I don't like before. She's the type of person that looks really 'maarte' when you are not her friend. I got to know her, see through and realized who she is. She is a great person and she deserves a lot more friends, but only some has the courage to do so. 

    In a year I knew Vivienne, a new girl in our section (because I am i the first section btw) she was really loud outside funny, rich, 'crush ng bayan' , multi-talented, understanding, and lovely, but time passed and I saw her. The real Vivienne, the one who cries secretly and has problems, it's cliche but it's really true. 

  One day I saw marks down at her wrist and I asked her why she has those marks, she just said that her younger sister scratched it since her sister was a little bit 'maldita', she hurriedly covered and I didn't asked further more, I was satisfied with her answers but, we all know that the truth will always know how to reveal itself. 

                                                She said that she was self-harming.

   I was shocked, and I'm mad, I shouted at her and asked her why did she do that thing, I said that her reasons were too low to cut herself up and inflict harm in herself. She didn't understood why. She became mad at me and said that I don't understand. I've never been mad at someone like that.

  She stopped, but I don't know now, she might do it due to depression, but I thought I said everything to her but I never said that there will always be God up there looking at you, listening to you, and he made that pain for her, to toughen her into a 'person' . 

Because God never gives a battle to us that we cannot succeed.

  I will send this to her so she will know , know the things I never said to her, the words of empowering that is too 'awkward' for me to say it in person. I don't want my bestfriend to cry, I don't want her to get hurt, I want to save her and tell her the things that she has been hiding on for a while, she needs strength, and God will give her the ample strength that she needs to face this challenge.

  To Vivienne, who keeps on insisting that I have the greatest voice, I will still insist that I don't have it, the sugarcoating kind of friend that made me believe (btw, i hate sugarcoating) , to the girl who I've cried with at the graduation, you deserve a lot more, redeem yourself and have hope and faith.The little flicker of hope that will push you to fight. And I'll never forget you , ever.
Pictures are from WeHeartIt

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